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You don't have to be a mathematician, or even "good" at , to help your learn maths. You just have to model resilience and positivity towards what they're doing, and to avoid reinforcing negative tropes.
A :

1. Do they seem to have been taught a different method for something you remember? Not a problem: get them to you theirs, and encourage them to try to understand yours. See if you can spot similarities. Why do both work? Can you find reasons why one may be "better" than the other (there are no right answers here, but just being more familiar doesn't count)?

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2. Are they doing something you don't recognise, or maybe you do recognise but never got the hang of it? Get them to you as much of it as they can. Work together on it. Admit that you don't understand it YET but don't use this as an excuse to not engage. Learning new things is a positive thing. Not understanding something is a prerequisite for learning something new.

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Tommaths (he/him)

3. Try not to fall into (or get out of) the habit of saying things like "I've never been any good at ," "I've always hated maths," "I've never seen the point of maths," etc: these are the most effective ways to kill a potential future mathematician.

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4. That's not just in front of your children, either: stop doing it with other adults. Better still, challenge other adults to stop doing it. If you want your child to succeed in you MUST genuinely have a positive attitude towards it, not just fake it in front of them.

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5. Model mathematical at all times - not just when they're doing homework! Ask questions about everything (look for patterns in things & try to explain them, essentially).

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6. An excellent way to develop your own is to introduce more maths-positive people into your life. You're on Mastodon: follow some [Hi! Nice to meet you 😃]. Interact with them. Ask them things. Share the mathematical discussions that you have with with your kids (include when you do!)

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7. Honestly, the absolute best way to get started supporting children's development is to stop it with the "I've never been any good at " stuff. Even maths profs think that from time to time: the difference is they use it as a motivation rather than an excuse.

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8. The thought "it's not my job to help my children learn " is unhelpful: nobody can learn maths with just 3 hours contact per week with someone who cares about it. Children with parents who engage with them mathematically have a distinct advantage over those who don't.

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9. If you've found this thread useful or thought-provoking, check out your local & ask if they have anything to help people explore the behind their stories & collections.

If not, let them know that you'd really value something that did. If they say there's no maths to be found, they're wrong! Point them my way & I can help them find it: tkbriggs.co.uk.

We need more maths in our museums but it won't happen unless they know you want it.

This thread is now a blog post, with a bit of extra padding and some more links to explore, aimed squarely at who aren't necessarily confident with but want to help their children do well in it:

tommaths.blogspot.com/2023/02/

If you have any questions or comments I haven't covered feel free to comment there, or here, or get in touch some other way.

tommaths.blogspot.comHow Can I Support My Child in Learning Maths?Maths educator with many and varied interests. Guitarist, writer, reader, human being. Interested in freelance opportunities, or just a chat.

Challenging adults to stop being openly negative about maths is hard because it's a pretty sore spot for some & we don't want to make anything worse (or start an argument). But leaving it to fester isn't good either.

So when *you* call out public negativity towards maths... How?

Sometimes I like to dig around a bit and find out what they actually *mean*. "I [hate\am bad at\etc] maths" doesn't really contain much info when you think about it: what do you mean by "maths"? How would you recognise it if it entered the room? What are your criteria for not being able to "do" it? What does "doing" and "not doing" maths look like to you? What do you think the difference is between people who "can do maths" and those who "can't do maths"?

@ColinTheMathmo

Your chart is ready, and can be found here:

solipsys.co.uk/Chartodon/11125

Things may have changed since I started compiling that, and some things may have been inaccessible.

In particular, the very nature of the fediverse means some toots may never have made it to my instance, in which case I can't see them, and can't include them.

The chart will eventually be deleted, so if you'd like to keep it, make sure you download a copy.

@TeaKayB

5 : Well, that's how Feynman's father got Feynman to become Feynman, but that's also how my father (a very knowledgeable man with depths in many topics) discouraged us from learning anything from his troves of science... which as adults all my siblings regrets, but too late.
So I'd advise taking this advice with a grain of salt, actually.

@lienrag You advise _against_ modelling positivity towards mathematics?

@TeaKayB

No, I say that "ask questions about everything" has to be handled with care. There are times and ways when these questions will be received as entering a relation, and others when it will be just another chore.

@TeaKayB

I just tought of a better formulation : one chould care, when asking questions, to stay in a dialogic conception of education, and not to stray into a banking conception of education.

@lienrag I think I agree, though it's tough to get that across to the target audience in a tweet-sized block of text!

@lienrag I'd like to think that, read alongside the rest of the thread, the idea of learning & questioning together rather than rote practise is implicit.

@TeaKayB

It's not necessrily rote practise the problem, it's the ability to put oneself in the child's mindset.
Feynman's enjoyed his father's questions and the relation they provided; it's the joy and the relation that made the questions pedagogic, not the questions by themselves.
Again, I speak from experience, the same sorts of questions asked at the wrong moment are just discouraging the kid.

@lienrag yes, I'm trying to encourage co-discovery rather than "answer this question I already know the answer to".

@TeaKayB

There's another version of this which comes from framing mathematics or mathematical thinking as cold/ inhuman/ evil, etc—those conversations can be quite toxic, when the other frames any attempt at abstraction or analysis as 'anti-decent'

I think behind both your point and the above, is that some individuals access (and arbitrarily use, or simulate) their internal models of the world more than others – (with good reason for both types of thinking) – and until we learn to translate across that divide, we are fairly doomed to misinterpret one another

My take, is that any person will slowly shift towards independent modelling for survival, but that there are side effects (which relate to increasing aversion to interruption while modelling), which means (as a species), that we default to not independently modelling, to more easily get along in larger groups (with respective increase in interruption)

- a recall/ derivation (or simulation) distinction, if you will

> aside: the middle ground is that modellers can recall the result of previously run simulations – which is less averse to interruption (I imagine that this is essential for maths teachers, etc! does this relate?)

I suggest this same aversion to interruption also plays a part while attempting mathematics in sub optimal environments. And that this aversion can become associated with the topic of focus, mathematics, rather than the problematic circumstances of the environment.

At this point the situation might appear as though mathematics is the problem, but really, the only fix, is dedicated interruption free time, to reset previous emotional association with interest or joy, etc. Essentially therapy!

Thoughts? 🙂

@themanual4am I agree that mathematics is often painted as cold, etc, and I'd include 'uncreative' in that: I hear a lot of people say they don't like / can't do maths because they're 'creative', which always strikes me as a decidedly uncreative position to hold.

This is connected, I think, with the regular complaint that maths is 'illogical' and 'doesn't make sense', when in fact maths is supremely logical: its entire foundation is explicitly in logic. What people mean when they say 'it's not logical' is 'my feelings don't make a difference to the truth', which is an entirely different situation. People often think they're being logical when they're actually being emotive. I think this might be where the idea that maths is 'cold' stems from, but it's no colder than, say, practicing mindfulness.

There are a *lot* of misconceptions about mathematics that are accepted as truths by much of the Western population, and they are the sources of most problems that people have with the subject, and I think your implication that where and when we do maths are as important as how and why we do it: if we only do it at a particular time each week, with a particular person, in a particular room, this reinforces particular beliefs regardless of what actually happens.

@TeaKayB

Hello, sorry for the late reply. an involved week!

Yes, agree. I'm reminded of this quote from Eugenia

I'm interested in your comment about mathematics related perspectives (and respective causes) of western populations -- can you say more?

@themanual4am
I agree that people can be put off maths by their early exposure to it but I don't know what the solution to this is: it's certainly not that "maths teachers just need to make maths more fun!" - that's a narrative that annoys me more and more over time. The key problem is not that formal mathematics education makes everyone hate maths. The key problem is that formal education is the only interaction that most people have with maths.

If formal education was the only opportunity people had to interact with, say, books, we'd have the same general attitude in society to books that we see with maths. School English lessons give us a formal framework within which to develop our understanding of books and literature, but the installation of reading as a normal thing to choose to do with your spare time outside of the classroom happens **outside of the classroom**. Most people who love reading have not realised that love inside English classrooms. They've found it by being encouraged and enabled to explore books and stories informally amongst their friends and family in the evening, at weekends and during holidays.

I'm pretty confident that the same is true of the vast majority of people who count mathematics as one of their personal interests.

Widespread negativity to mathematics is not solely attributable to maths teachers and cannot be solved solely by maths teachers.

@TeaKayB

sure, that wasn't my intent with the quote (and i'll need to re-read that section for context!)

i hear you (and agree) that the onus ought not be on frontline teachers to solve this society wide issue

your point on reading is interesting, what might equivalent look like

reading begins with simpler books, then builds. typically stories are relatable, apply to our lives in some way

so, part communication of applicability of math or mathematical thinking, part something else... reading is typically passive – the reader is led through a story, and a picture is built in the mind

a crossover sounds like "intuition tales" of some kind – as a first step, rather than focus on the detail of any mathematical form, perhaps look for ways to reinterpret or re-present mathematical essences by metaphor, or similar, (then relate back)

does that make sense?

> and while i hear you (and agree) that the onus ought not be on frontline teachers to solve this society wide issue – individuals with experience teaching mathematics might be well placed to implement something like this (and certainly provide valuable insight and contribution)

is there such a thing as 'applied mathematical intuitions' by story, or some other form?

@themanual4am I think your points fit with the idea that negative associations with mathematics are the problem and that these are not genuine aspects of mathematics, but perceptions.

@TeaKayB

Hello! It's been a while!

Sure, yes. I was pointing at a pavlovian type association, attributing negative consequences of a suboptimal learning environment to "insufficient personal capability", or similar: typically toward the task at hand in the moment; in this case mathematics

I think that sometimes when can't do something and don't understand why, we blame ourselves, and almost unconsciously conclude that "we simply can't do that thing, no matter how much we try"

I suggest that this is a selected for operational optimisation. In principle: once x attempts to "climb a tree" (or whatever) prove unsuccessful, with undetermined cause, stop wasting finite energy/ resources; in effect, flag the task-category to be avoided in the future

At that point (speculating), any attempt to persuade an individual to retry in earnest, must include sufficient concrete information to resolve either:

1. "what went wrong originally". To reevaluate causal circumstances enough to try again given new circumstances

2. "what must be done now, explicitly". A literal cognitive step-by-step, to lead a persons focussed-attention though sufficient conceptual waypoints to reach some related objective, thus directly demonstrating to them "perhaps they *can* do this after all"

So yes, absolutely -- whatever the topic/ task at hand (including mathematics), I think that 1 and 2 relate to operational mechanics of cognition, learning and autonomy; and that for some, no amount of "damn the fruit up there is swee-eee-eet" will be enough to persuade them it is worth trying again

I suppose, if madness is repeating the same thing again expecting different results, then we need to demonstrate *this time isn't the same*

@themanual4am yeah, I found the response in my drafts (which means internet access had failed when I tried to post but I didn't notice).

I think both 1&2 can be made harder where the person is / has been immersed in a culture of negativity towards maths, and eased (however slightly, but I suspect proportionally) if they've generally been surrounded by maths-happiness. This is a large part of why I think it's important to work towards better attitudes to maths in society, and that this can't happen if the responsibility for this is entirely on maths teachers.

@TeaKayB there was a lot of interesting discussion already about communicating with parents. There is a pressing need to communicate how to support ss at home and some structured opportunities to talk about this (which others dug into) But when I read this post I first saw the part above about convincing math haters and I'd like to speak to that general point. First, like all opinions you have to accept you will not win over everyone. And also like in general there is a time and place for such discussions. Most casual conversations are probably not the right one and it's best handled with a small gesture that you have a different opinion, normalizing this attitude is not universal.

Ultimately, I think we need more positive modeling of interest in math and integration of math into daily life and culture rather than attempts at directly explaining "don't say I hate math". There's more bang for the buck, in a cool demo or talk that you excitedly tell others about, wearing a math themed shirt, a TV special about a mathemetician, putting up a picture of math art, etc than in direct lectures trying to change minds.

@benleis
I don't think I'm trying to 'win everyone over' to maths. I just want people to stop being so kneejerk negative about it all the time. Yes, part of this is about gaining the confidence to show off your own love of maths, part of this is about better educational opportunities (for adults, whether formal or informal, but especially the latter), but part of it must be pointing out that the level of vitriol with which so many people react to the merest mention of mathematics is just bizarre.

People (a group which notably includes children) are immersed in a society composed of people who reacts to mentions of mathematics in a way that, were they to react in the same way to a different benign interest, would lead to them being sat down in a quiet room, provided with a glass of water and asked if they needed to talk about something because that really wasn't rational way to respond to someone who mentioned that they liked stamp collecting.

I'm trying to find relatively nice and non-confrontational ways of saying "please realise that what you're doing is not only really weird but also actively damaging so please think about not doing it any more, or at least toning it down a bit in front of the kids," because letting it continue isn't really a viable option.

@TeaKayB @benleis This: "level of vitriol with which so many people react to the merest mention of mathematics is just bizarre".

@TeaKayB @benleis But also: we probably *should* be sitting down with these people and helping them work through their feelings about maths and what let them there.

@DavidKButler @benleis
Yes, indeed. When the opportunity arises those of us with the confidence and patience to do so must try. On other occasions a friendly "that's a bit of an odd reaction, are you alright mate?" might at least plant a seed of thought.

@benleis
I think that's part of it, though: it's normal to say "eurgh, I hate maths" where saying something similar with an equivalent level of vitriol about almost any other interest or hobby would be viewed as a bit weird at best.

@TeaKayB I offer them a rephrase: "It's okay to not enjoy maths; there are plenty of things I don't enjoy. But how about saying something else like 'That looks fancy!' or 'Wow it's great that people like geometry'." I dunno, I improvise. Better to offer what to do, than to say what not to do.

But sometimes I just kick them in the shins.

@RealityMinus3 @TeaKayB when I was little and said “that’s boring” my father always replied - “no, it is not boring, even if you are bored by it”

@Bruce @RealityMinus3
I sometimes have a reflex response to "this is boring" of "you're boring", which is possibly not helpful.

@TeaKayB @Bruce Well, I mean ... sometimes a shock of confrontation startles a person into reconsideration. Instead of what probably amounts to cajoling or pleading, which provides a surface to push back against, I do also favor a direct "thanks for shitting on my subject" or "that's a hurtful thing to say." Prompt them to take responsibility for their words.

@RealityMinus3 @Bruce
Good point. Sometimes people need to hear "actually, that's not fair".

@TeaKayB I have the opposite problem: I like math, and when I express what I think are positive or reassuring thoughts about material she finds difficult, the message my daughter gets is "this is easy for me; why isn't it easy for you?" and she feels insulted or dismissed. I need to find a way of acknowledging her frustration without contributing to it.

@mattmcirvin I think part of the issue (generally) is that finding maths difficult means that maths is bad. The major difference, as far as I can tell, between people who love maths and those who hate it is not whether they find it difficult but how they react to that feeling.

Maybe, rather than trying to reassure her about the _material_, focus on the feelings. You're finding it difficult? That's great! It means you're learning something! Or, it _is_ difficult, I've just had more practise.

@TeaKayB This is very good advice that I always try to follow in general. Instead of using similar static, negative statements one can first acknowledge that “I also think that can be hard” and then continue with “but let’s try anyway”, “I think you can do it”, “can I show you how I usually do it?” etc depending on the situation.

@wahni yes! It's important not to equate "it's difficult" with "I don't like it" and "it's not useful".

@TeaKayB I like math (the programming stuff has to come from SOMEWHERE, no?). Just not the way most of it is taught xD

@ginsterbusch I heard someone describe computer science as one of many offshoots of mathematics, and it made a lot of sense to me.

Discussing how maths is taught definitely has its place, but here I'm more concerned with the responsibility that parents and other adults [should] have in that process.

@TeaKayB I was entirely twisted and rotten thanks to having learned programming early in life. It spoiled me for the "school mathematics" forever.

If I had the chance for another go on "having a family" / "being a responsible (ha!) adult", I'd probably go at it like I did with programming. Oughta be fun, not strive / grief.

@ginsterbusch Yes, "more fun" would be how I'd do it, if given a "back to the start" card!