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1. Do they seem to have been taught a different method for something you remember? Not a problem: get them to #teach you theirs, and encourage them to try to understand yours. See if you can spot similarities. Why do both work? Can you find reasons why one may be "better" than the other (there are no right answers here, but just being more familiar doesn't count)?
2. Are they doing something you don't recognise, or maybe you do recognise but never got the hang of it? Get them to #teach you as much of it as they can. Work together on it. Admit that you don't understand it YET but don't use this as an excuse to not engage. Learning new things is a positive thing. Not understanding something is a prerequisite for learning something new.
4. That's not just in front of your children, either: stop doing it with other adults. Better still, challenge other adults to stop doing it. If you want your child to succeed in #maths you MUST genuinely have a positive attitude towards it, not just fake it in front of them.
Challenging adults to stop being openly negative about maths is hard because it's a pretty sore spot for some & we don't want to make anything worse (or start an argument). But leaving it to fester isn't good either.
So when *you* call out public negativity towards maths... How?
Sometimes I like to dig around a bit and find out what they actually *mean*. "I [hate\am bad at\etc] maths" doesn't really contain much info when you think about it: what do you mean by "maths"? How would you recognise it if it entered the room? What are your criteria for not being able to "do" it? What does "doing" and "not doing" maths look like to you? What do you think the difference is between people who "can do maths" and those who "can't do maths"?
There's another version of this which comes from framing mathematics or mathematical thinking as cold/ inhuman/ evil, etc—those conversations can be quite toxic, when the other frames any attempt at abstraction or analysis as 'anti-decent'
I think behind both your point and the above, is that some individuals access (and arbitrarily use, or simulate) their internal models of the world more than others – (with good reason for both types of thinking) – and until we learn to translate across that divide, we are fairly doomed to misinterpret one another
My take, is that any person will slowly shift towards independent modelling for survival, but that there are side effects (which relate to increasing aversion to interruption while modelling), which means (as a species), that we default to not independently modelling, to more easily get along in larger groups (with respective increase in interruption)
- a recall/ derivation (or simulation) distinction, if you will
> aside: the middle ground is that modellers can recall the result of previously run simulations – which is less averse to interruption (I imagine that this is essential for maths teachers, etc! does this relate?)
I suggest this same aversion to interruption also plays a part while attempting mathematics in sub optimal environments. And that this aversion can become associated with the topic of focus, mathematics, rather than the problematic circumstances of the environment.
At this point the situation might appear as though mathematics is the problem, but really, the only fix, is dedicated interruption free time, to reset previous emotional association with interest or joy, etc. Essentially therapy!
Thoughts? 
@themanual4am I agree that mathematics is often painted as cold, etc, and I'd include 'uncreative' in that: I hear a lot of people say they don't like / can't do maths because they're 'creative', which always strikes me as a decidedly uncreative position to hold.
This is connected, I think, with the regular complaint that maths is 'illogical' and 'doesn't make sense', when in fact maths is supremely logical: its entire foundation is explicitly in logic. What people mean when they say 'it's not logical' is 'my feelings don't make a difference to the truth', which is an entirely different situation. People often think they're being logical when they're actually being emotive. I think this might be where the idea that maths is 'cold' stems from, but it's no colder than, say, practicing mindfulness.
There are a *lot* of misconceptions about mathematics that are accepted as truths by much of the Western population, and they are the sources of most problems that people have with the subject, and I think your implication that where and when we do maths are as important as how and why we do it: if we only do it at a particular time each week, with a particular person, in a particular room, this reinforces particular beliefs regardless of what actually happens.
Hello, sorry for the late reply. an involved week!
Yes, agree. I'm reminded of this quote from Eugenia
I'm interested in your comment about mathematics related perspectives (and respective causes) of western populations -- can you say more?
@themanual4am
I agree that people can be put off maths by their early exposure to it but I don't know what the solution to this is: it's certainly not that "maths teachers just need to make maths more fun!" - that's a narrative that annoys me more and more over time. The key problem is not that formal mathematics education makes everyone hate maths. The key problem is that formal education is the only interaction that most people have with maths.
If formal education was the only opportunity people had to interact with, say, books, we'd have the same general attitude in society to books that we see with maths. School English lessons give us a formal framework within which to develop our understanding of books and literature, but the installation of reading as a normal thing to choose to do with your spare time outside of the classroom happens **outside of the classroom**. Most people who love reading have not realised that love inside English classrooms. They've found it by being encouraged and enabled to explore books and stories informally amongst their friends and family in the evening, at weekends and during holidays.
I'm pretty confident that the same is true of the vast majority of people who count mathematics as one of their personal interests.
Widespread negativity to mathematics is not solely attributable to maths teachers and cannot be solved solely by maths teachers.
sure, that wasn't my intent with the quote (and i'll need to re-read that section for context!)
i hear you (and agree) that the onus ought not be on frontline teachers to solve this society wide issue
your point on reading is interesting, what might equivalent look like
reading begins with simpler books, then builds. typically stories are relatable, apply to our lives in some way
so, part communication of applicability of math or mathematical thinking, part something else... reading is typically passive – the reader is led through a story, and a picture is built in the mind
a crossover sounds like "intuition tales" of some kind – as a first step, rather than focus on the detail of any mathematical form, perhaps look for ways to reinterpret or re-present mathematical essences by metaphor, or similar, (then relate back)
does that make sense?
> and while i hear you (and agree) that the onus ought not be on frontline teachers to solve this society wide issue – individuals with experience teaching mathematics might be well placed to implement something like this (and certainly provide valuable insight and contribution)
is there such a thing as 'applied mathematical intuitions' by story, or some other form?