Thanks to everyone who has shared something this Ace Week. I've learned about a bunch of new authors to check out and have heard about experiences of aceness all across the spectrum.

And now, as this year's Ace Week comes to a close, I just want to share again my reflections from last year.

https://dice.camp/@jendefer/111280434929586732

In der Asexual Awareness Week, auch ACE Week genannt, geht es um das A in der Abkürzung LGBTQIA+: Asexualität.
Nur etwa ein Prozent aller Menschen haben keinerlei oder ein nur sehr geringes Interesse an Sex mit anderen Personen. Zwischenmenschliche Nähe, Zuneigung, Liebe, Zärtlichkeit und Partnerschaft sind auch ohne Sex möglich. Doch Menschen, die sich nicht für Sex interessieren, gelten als sonderbar. (1/4)

One more #FursuitFriday for #AceWeek!

It's still #AceWeek, and as part of the festivities, Bookstr interviewed me and 4 other ace authors about our books, our experiences, and asexuality in the publishing industry. Check it out: https://bookstr.com/article/asexual-authors-share-their-journey-and-influence-in-the-publishing-world/

Happy #AceWeek !

There are a ton of sub identities within the ace spectrum. A lot of unique versions of expressing it.

I say asexual for simplicity, but I'm sex positive and favourable if there's a kink context, otherwise nothing can really happen. So a mix of ace, demi, grey and peculiace

It's a case of "if we vibe really well, and we both understand that this is play, then there's a lot to be explored.

Also, a good reminder: Kink doesn't have to be sexual.

It's about having fun

Some favorite Pride arts for #AceWeek / #AsexualityAwarenessWeek !

Arts by Azshara Kletete (https://kletete.eu/) , @leggy2fast and @waywardmutt

Happy #AceWeek !

I had to bring this little buddy home with me.

Happy #AcePride week!

"When will you finally bless me with a grandchild?"

Happy #AceWeek

It's Ace week!

And I have a request for all allies: Please reflect on the following questions:

Disclaimer 1: I'm probably not going to include everyone with the words I use, but please let me know, so I can edit and learn.

Disclaimer 2: I'm also going to use language that lets you know what I assume is the answer to a former question. But all answers are true and valid. Please don't feel pressured or judged by my words. Some of the questions are simply void depending on your answers before.

1. Do you prioritize your romantic or sexual relationships/constellations/encounters/interests over your friendships?
Do you for example spend more time, money and energy on people who are not or you don't want to be "just friends"? Do you give more love to them? More attention? Would you rather stop everything your doing and travel to the middle of nowhere because one of them wants to see you right now, compared to a friend? Do you think your friends initiate contact more often then you and spend more effort in keeping the friendship going whenever you have people in your life you want to be with romantically or sexually?

2. Do the people you have romantic and/or sexual feelings for deserve the extra attention, time and affection? Do they treat you better than your friends? Is it easier with them or if not, do they give you something your friends can't to make it worth it? Are encounters with them better for you and your (psychological) health than encounters with your friends? Who do you think is more sore or jealous if you spend more time with someone else? Does that mean the other is feeling good about being second best?

3. Do you think society as a whole values romance and sexuality more than platonic love? Do you think that's justified? Do you think that the words we use cement those societal differences (e.g. phrases like "I want >more than< friendship")? Do you know a lot of movies or TV shows where a friendship is the main theme like a romance is in romance movies?

4. Do you think aro/ace people might be lonely and feel left out in such a society (not to say that aro/ace people can't be in romantic or sexual relationships/constellations and that friendship is the only format availible to all aro/ace people)? Do you think some of your friends that are single and not dating (right now) long to spend more (quality) time with you? Do you think some of your friends might like to tag along when your doing something (depending on the activity) with a person or persons in the romance/sex-category? Do you know or think that some of your friends are aro/ace?

5. Have you ever had a platonic crush? Do you know what queerplatonic means? Do you think you could handle it well when a friend has queerplatonic feelings for you that you don't reciprocate? Would it be the same or different than unreciprocated romantic/sexual feelings? Do you think you could be a qpp/bff to an aro/ace person while also being in a romantic/sexual partnership/constellation? Do you think the other person/people in the partnership/constellation would be okay with that? Would you prefer if they were?

I encourage you to look up any words you don't know and/or ask me about them. Many words don't mean the same to everyone and I can only give you my definition. But please don't ask randomized misinformation machines.

If you happen to be someone who thinks of #sex like a chore, like an obligation you need to fulfil to fit in "#normal" society, or if you think you're a failure because you didn't have sex "yet", think again:

Maybe sex actually simply is the wrong thing for you and society just pushes you into a false life.

It's OKAY to not be that into sex (or at all). You are not alone. And only YOU get to decide when to have sex ("never" is a valid choice).

My biggest wish as an #asexual person is that people understand what it is and that it exists and is valid and really not that special. We need to let go of sex myths.

I have been unaware for decades about my #asexuality because I deluded myself into heterosexuality. Which wasn't great.

The belief that everyone *needs* sex to be "normal"/"happy" is widespread but it's false. For me, it's exactly 0% true, as well as many fellow #aces.

I never felt shame or distress about my #asexuality after I identified as such.

This was different while I still believed I was hetero. I felt a little like a failure because I didn't have sex.

So:
Heterosexual identity: made me feel like I failed
Asexual identity: didn't. Makes me feel a bit happy

The rational choice for me is clear: Embrace asexuality.

Note the "choice" here is not "be asexual" but "accept the fact I am asexual". Subtle but important difference!

It's #AceWeek all over again! I didn’t prepare anything special this year so I I just write a little about myself again.

It turns out I’m #asexual (#ace) the whole year round, not just during AceWeek.

I’ve now been out and proud as #ace for about 3-4 years now. And I didn’t change my mind. It’s pretty much set.

I’m at a point where I’m pretty much *used* to being openly ace. Like, it feels completely normal to me.