Proposal to rename them Ever Tried and Ever Failed.
Maximinus Thrax is a strong contender here, though. Absolutely sounds like an old friend of Zaphod Beeblebrox.
Florentine quarantine: https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v42/n04/erin-maglaque/inclined-to-putrefaction
Stupendemys Geographicus would have been a fantastic name for a centurion in an Asterix book.
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