Blaming the Frankfurt School for everything, even though I'm not sure how sausages could have caused that much trouble.

Excited to see that US public discourse has transitioned seamlessly from "won't someone think of the billionaires?" to "won't someone think of the war criminals?"

Update: there was at least a little cartilage there after all. I stand happily (slightly) corrected.

Vicious rumours that our opposition leader might have been developing a single vertebra were unfounded.

With bipartisanship so rare these days, it's good to hear once again that there are no cracks in Australia's bipartisan refugee-torture consensus.

Byron: Man marks the earth with ruin
Me: Yup
Byron: His control stops with the shore
Me: Fuck, I wish

Just learned there's such a thing as a basset horn. Now going to assume that there's also blood horns, daschorns, Irish wolfhorns, etc.

What I'm saying is that you've got to separate the sandwich artist from the art.

Marie Kondo is defeated when she arrives at my apartment to find every surface piled high with boxes of joy sparklers.

Police will be on hand to arrest those who sing the anthem with insufficient enthusiasm.

We could fix global wealth inequality by Feb 13 if everyone were prepared to marry and divorce once per day until then.

The investors in my vegan cheese start-up are furious, but I maintain that spending all our capital on a hologram of Freddie Mercury singing "I want a fake brie" was a risk worth taking.

Here's to the day when the prevalence of wage theft is considered sensational and the bourgeoisie are seen as villainous perpetrators.

RT @danvmathews@twitter.com

The doors of crime perception
danielmathews.info/2019/01/02/

🐦🔗: twitter.com/danvmathews/status

If young folk seized power tomorrow and decided to summarily execute everyone over 35, I wouldn't exactly skip to the gallows but part of me would be thinking "fair cop".

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Mathstodon

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