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Welcome to new people joining from 𝕏!
Remember, posts are called toots here, likes are called florps, retweeting is technically a cross-account posting exploit that they can't fix because we're using it, and our version of Grok is called Garfiald.
There's no algorithm here! Literally none. There is no computer code behind Mastodon. Each http response is typed out by hand by your server admin in real time. Sometimes this means you won't see replies from other servers, but that's ok, other servers are full of losers anyway.
People here make a point of using alt text — if you can't find an image you want to post, just post a picture of your cat and describe the correct image in the alt text. Nobody will notice, or at least nobody will mind.
The first thing you should do is make a pinned toot with your pronouns, political affiliation, and favourite Linux distribution. Cisgender people are welcome on Mastodon but aren't officially supported, so some features may not work properly.
But most importantly, have fun! Users found to be not having fun will be given a written warning in the first instance and banned if the behaviour continues.
Always use #hashtags in your posts, they add a lovely splash of colour and really make your toots pop.
@andrewt Also our music is called bonkwave, and simultaneously is not bonkwave.
@andrewt and we do not, under any circumstances talk about pineapples
@szbalint ugh, someone mentioned pineapples a couple of weeks ago and just, look, if i wanted pineapple chat i'd go to bluesky, that's what it's for
or just 
?
here?)
@ShinyBlackShoe @andrewt @szbalint Ma dai, ovviamente è un reato!
@FishNamedDog @szbalint @andrewt
No, def not.
The fruit that neither pines nor apples want to share their name with is rather acidic when binged on festivals, but on pizza it has a stance of royal magnitude.
Questioning it's cultural contribution to italian pancakes, that originally were meant to just eat up the rests of the other days, will be prosecuted all over the Fediverse!
</caps>
@FishNamedDog @szbalint that's literally anything
@FishNamedDog @szbalint @andrewt Anyone who thinks that pineapple either belongs or does not belong on pizza is a racist and should be hounded out of the fediverse.
@m @FishNamedDog @szbalint My understanding is that the official Mastodon rules don't come down either way on actually putting it on a pizza, but do state that anyone who then calls that pizza "a Hawaiian" is banned from fedi for promoting settler-colonialism, and not allowed to play Neofeud any more. Or they're required to play it until they get the message. I forget.
@andrewt @m @FishNamedDog @szbalint I do remember: it was "massage", not "message".
@andrewt@mathstodon.xyz omg this is gold, may I steal this and make a russian translation of the post for russian audience of mastodon network™?
@andrewt The thing with pronouns, political affiliation and linux distribution is just reality though 
@andrewt That last part reminded me of a line from the British comedy the IT Crowd.
'Oh, by the way, anyone still experiencing stress at the end of the day... will be fired!'
@andrewt
Newbies!
Don't believe the lie that likes are called floups
That was a joke.
Actually they're warbles. Kidding.
Anyway, welcome.
@Rozzychan @andrewt I believe the confusion stems from the fact that long-time users are used to "floups", which is what warbles were called originally, way back when.
All mentions of the old name have been scrubbed from the Mastodon code since, but you can still see them in old versions of the code, back when it was hosted not on Github, but on Bithug.
If you are the first person to florp a post, it's recommended (albeit not required) to respond to the post saying "firstflorp!"
@andrewt 
Eye am so so here for all the things you described, Andrew, that Eye went back to the angry bird site, forgot everything Eye knew about the Fediverse, and then came back here again to read and apply your tips.
Rawk on, sir!
@andrewt Looks like you forgot to mention John Mastodon :-)
@brightside surely everyone already knows about john mastodon?
@andrewt also don’t forget to say hello to John Mastodon
@andrewt take my florp
I wish I could florp this twice.
@andrewt At least ten, and additional commonly #mispelled versions!
@jerrej @andrewt Use hashtags to express yourself. #gofuckyourself is a popular one.
@andrewt well-actually-guy here: there is an algorithm, e.g. on mastodon.social it's "Newer posts with more boosts and favorites are ranked higher."
@andrewt Mwa-ha-haw!! 
And I understand from @theropologist that beige.party robes in size M with cat ears are currently sold out.
@andrewt Rofl-o-saurus.
Rex.
(which is coincidentally the Fediversese for rofl-copter. But only if the copter carries pineapples in its cargo).
@andrewt you forgot the bit about all furries being automatically elevated to superusers.
@andrewt pretty accurate
@andrewt Do not say toots. That's just cringe.
@andrewt
Here my favourite Lynx distribution. 
Canadian, Eh.
https://canadiangeographic.ca/articles/animal-facts-canada-lynx/
It must needs be noted that the word "toot" is short for tootus. This is from Ancient Greek and not from Latin, so the plural is tootodes.
In practice, both "toots" and "tootodes" are used, the former most common among the young (<60) and Emacs users.
@andrewt So, what's everyone think? Vim or emacs? I'm more of a nano guy myself
<ducks>
@quadrivial @andrewt just enter your code by shorting out different lines on the address bus in time with the clock cycles
@quadrivial @andrewt vim. Your question was rhetorical?