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#triggers

0 posts0 participants0 posts today

I am not going to #livestream today like I said.

Going to #skidrow yesterday put me in a dark state of mind, and I am exhausted.

However I feel it was good for me, and I am better today now that some #emotions have processed.

I need a rest because I basically had the most terrifying hour or two ever-

1. #livestream when I was nervous and a novice.

2. Be in giant #protest of people which terrified me.

3. Go to Skidrow which #triggers me hard.

Someone did tip me a dollar.

It isn't the Universe's job to keep us from encountering our triggers ever again, as nice as that would be.

Our task is to work on our triggers as best we can, and to work on avoiding the triggers we're not ready to work on yet.

When other people help us avoid our triggers, good on them. But that doesn't make it their responsibility.

Continued thread

🧵 2/2 Uh ok. Can you wait five minutes until I’m home and won’t cause a wreck? No, as it turns out. By the time I reply again from my workstation they are all gone.

I can’t even describe how triggering this. Took a very simple task and turned into some horrible and painful in the name of security theater. So angry right now.

🧵1/2 Someone has a really rotten sense of humor today. I make a simple request of IT, and have to do it in a channel that’s truly horrible about doing things properly. Fine.

But then hours and hours go by. So I finally decide to run an errand for my son after lunch. I’m about five minutes from home, driving, when several people pop into my slack asking to help.

When I read all that's going wrong in the world, I feel like having a breakdown. But because I'm intersectionally oppressed, I feel like I'm not allowed to have a breakdown. I have to be strong. I have to ignore all my triggers, and expose myself to everything that causes me despair and stress.. because I have to be informed of what all the evil people are doing. But I can't take any more of this stress! I wanna have my breakdown! I wanna cry, and scream, and hurl my computer out the window! Then I wanna go play with my dolls, read a book that amuses me, and forget about how much the world sucks.

#GOP#republicans#kosa